Our Poor Couches

In our last home we had a family room and a living room.  Growing up some of my aunts had this set up and it was understood that the family room was for kids, the living room was for adults.  So, I thought this would be the case in our home.  The living room had no television–which in itself discourages children from entering–and “fancy couches”.  When we moved into our new home we got rid of the family room furniture and kept the “fancy couches” for everyday use.

As I was chatting on the phone with my mother this morning I looked over to see my youngest son stabbing the arm of the couch with a pencil.  This reminded me of a couple things.

1–Mothers are not allowed to talk on the phone while the children are home. (Which means mothers are never allowed to talk on the phone.)

2–This is not the first time the “fancy couches” have fallen victim to assaulting children…

When my oldest was around 4 or 5 (definitely beyond the years of writing on anything other than paper) he drew a monster truck on the back of one of the sofas with a yellow marker.  It was about 2′ x 3′.  The couches were rather new at that time and I was absolutely flabbergasted!  Luckily, I learned that Magic Eraser sponges will not remove marker from fabric but they will lighten it enough that a monster truck will not be visible to most visitors.

This information came in handy when, years later, my youngest son proudly appeared in the kitchen covered from head to toe in marker “tattoos”.  After showing me the handiwork on his body, he led me to the living room so I could see how he’d also tattooed the arms of the couch.  Nice.

The cat has since scratched holes in the fabric.  My husband, in an attempt to steam clean the ottoman, dumped a gallon of so of detergent on it.  The entire set has gone from being the “fancy couches” to family furniture.  And, I think, maybe they’re just a little more comfortable as a result…

“Something Trash”

So far “Now It’s Trash” has a loyal following of two.  When asked what their thoughts were this is what I heard:

sister: “Of all the stuff your kids do you went with the Coasters?”

husband: “Are you gonna end every story with ‘something trash’?  It just seems…..kitchy.”

Let it never be said that I am not a good listener.  While there is nothing I can do about opening with the Pier One Coasters, I can eliminate a “kitchy” phrase to make my fans happy!

So, ending each entry with “something trash”–consider it trashed!  (starting tomorrow…)

Markers and Sheets

My oldest son has a loft-style bunk bed.  I rarely make it because it is difficult and he doesn’t have to make it for the same reason.  As a result, his sheets and blankets tend to be rolled up and all over the bed.  He uses this to his advantage–stashing all sorts of toys and books to be played with after “lights out”.

As I was tucking him into his bed last night I noticed that he had so much stuff in his bed that there was barely enough room for him to sleep.  Luckily, one of the items was a cardboard box.  As we were tossing toys into the box I grabbed a red marker–without a cap.  Next, I grabbed his top sheet.  I can only guess that the marker had been in his bed for days.  There were four or five bright red spots on the sheet, some of them 3 inches across.

So, the marker is dried out and the sheet has giant splotches of blood red ink all over it.  Both of them are now trash!

Tee Ball

For his fourth birthday my middle son got a tee ball set.  His loving parents got the tee and bat, his aunt the rubber bases, his grandmother some other well coordinated piece.  It was, I thought, the perfect gift.  After the party we headed to the back yard.  We set up the bases, built the tee, explained the rules of the game and put my oldest son up to bat.  The first swing of the bat landed squarely on the side of my then one-year-old’s head!

There was screaming and crying and a two hour wait in the emergency room.  And when the dust had settled and we were sure that he would be alright, the new tee ball set went into the trash.

Over-door Shoe Rack

Not all trash is created by the kids. Frustrated that one of the kids wasn’t listening to me (again), I slammed my bedroom door.  The over-door shoe rack swung out too far causing the top piece to snap off.

So, now it’s trash.  (Sometimes even Moms need a reminder to control their tempers.)

Dining Room Chairs

My middle son got his first tooth at four months old.  For the next two years he bit and/or chewed on almost anything.  When the movie “A Series of Unfortunate Events” came out we laughed at the baby that held onto the table with her teeth–that was him.

As you do when you have this kind of baby, we removed any choking hazards and dangerous objects.  But what to do with the furniture?  That’s right, the furniture.  Three of our dining room chairs have teeth marks in them. 

So, they aren’t exactly trash, but we are the family with the gnawed on chairs…

Pier One Coasters

The Christmas after we bought our house we got three sets of coasters from three different people.  One was a ceramic Pottery Barn set that I promptly put in a top cupboard for a day when the children are all in college.  One was a ceramic set painted with pears.  (After five years, I am happy to say that only one of these has been broken.)  The third was a super cute set from Pier One Imports.  They were little pieces of bamboo thatched together sort of like a raft.  Since they were the least breakable I left them within the reach of little hands.

My then two year old son loved the super cute coasters.  He rolled them into telescopes.  He lined them up like a road.  He threw them like a Frisbee. 

And, well, now they’re trash.

Hello world!

Kids can (and will) destroy anything.  My kids break something on a daily basis. 

One day, I was laughing to myself about this when it occured to me that they break things often enough that I could write a blog about it.  So, that’s what I’m doing…