Did you notice that I said nearly unbreakable? Yeah. We can destroy anything–it’s like a gift…

And if you do break one of these nearly indestructible pieces be prepared to do a lot of sweeping. They break into about 7 million tiny shards…

You can’t be too careful…

I love coupons. I love bargains. I love rebates. I love yard sales.

I come home from shopping and say to my (ever patient) husband: “How much would you pay for this?!”
This can go a couple of ways. Usually he guesses the regular retail price and then I Wow him with the bargain I got. Sometimes he’s feeling saucy and throws out a ridiculously low price in an attempt to one up me. Sometimes he really has no idea and guesses an absurdly high price. My favorite is the first one.

Anyway! I thought to myself what is better than sharing my bargains with my husband? That’s right! Sharing them with the world!

So, this week CVS was running a deal. If you spent $25 on specific Proctor & Gamble items you got a 9 pack of Charmin toilet paper free. But, wait, there’s more! All of the specific items were on sale AND the P & G coupon flyer came out this week! I know, exciting stuff!

I fully intended to take a picture of everything I bought because I thought it would be dramatic but then I forgot and put  everything away. So picture this:

An 8 pack of Bounty paper towels
Two Old Spice Deoderants
Two tubes of Whitening Expressions toothpaste (I am addicted to the cinnamon!)
A box of pantyliners
Two boxes of tampons
Two bottles of Dawn
A 20 pack of Duracell AA batteries
A 12 pack of Charmin Ultra Toilet Paper

All of this plus a $1 donation to ALS came to $31 and some change including tax. Plus, I got $11 in coupons for use on anything in the store! And did you notice that I said 12 pack of Charmin Ultra in the list but 9 pack earlier? They were out of the featured t.p. so I got 3 extra rolls of Ultra! (An $8 value!) I saved $41.61!! Yeah, me!

…Seltzer with a splash of fruit juice is not a soda.

…If I have to count how many calories are in the apple that I am substituting for a candy bar then I’d rather be fat.

(Can you tell that I’ve been trying to eat less junk food?)

2-We had an awesome weekend of hiking and picking strawberries and making foods with said strawberries. I loaded the pictures onto the computer and realized that I have a frumpy middle-aged body. I had to crop myself out of all the pictures.

3-Every time I try a new eye cream I think it makes my eyes more wrinkly. Then I wonder if they are exactly the same but I’m looking at them more than usual so they just seem more wrinkly.

4-I am addicted to ebay.

5-The left mouse button on my laptop broke. We thought it would be a good idea to switch the left & right functions. It works, but after 15 years of left-clicking you can’t just switch over night. Really. Try it. It is less fun than you’d think.

The other day I was in line at the store and my kids were jumping around like…well, like them. I suggested playing shape searchers, or color searchers, or that game where we all take turns telling a part of the story. And, they kept jumping around as if they couldn’t hear me…

That is when it occured to me. All of the books, magazines, and shows I’ve watched have had all of these wonderful ideas: going to a restaurant? bring a stash of crayons & paper, standing in line? play a game, waiting in an office? don’t forget the magnet board! And I used those ideas. So now my kids are 8, 6, & 4 and they don’t know how to just BE!

I am going to take responsibility, of course, but I am also going to send that old co-worker an email to let her know she was right. Then, I’m going to teach my kids that you can be still for five minutes without permanent damage. (Wish my luck on that one.) And, I think, I may start reading more craft magazines and fewer parenting ones…

Sometimes I open a playlist on the computer.  It’s my playlist.  I made it.  The title of the playlist is Amy. Yet, every time the song changes I am excited because ‘I love this song’!

And one of those songs?

Happy Friday!

You know what’s a good story? Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. It has a great beat.  We have a cd of Ray Charles reading it. I really love it. It’s a great book for that pre-reading exercise where you read the book to your child a couple times then you let them ‘read’ it to you. That’s actually why we bought it. And, also, because my oldest son was obsessed with coconuts when he was four…

The story of how my son said coconut so often in Pre-K that the entire class used the word all the time is a good one, too. But, for today I’ll stick with Chicka Chicka Boom Boom…

All of this leads me to a funny story…

When my oldest son was about three we were driving on an interstate.  Someone cut me off and I called him an unpleasant name.  From the back seat my little guy wondered: “Why is he a dump truck, Mommy?”

I’m pretty sure that’s the day I transitioned to silent cursing.  I know it’s the day that I started calling people Dump Trucks in traffic instead of what I’d really said…

Sure, I’m kinda nice to your face, but you should hear what’s going on inside my head.  It isn’t pretty.  I curse a lot in there.

The reason I am not nice today is that I’m looking at Etsy thinking: “Not only could I do that, I could do it so much better.  Because I’m awesome.*” So instead of being excited for all the moms out there that have gotten off their butts and made something out of craftiness, I envy them.  And judge them.  And curse at them–just in my head, of course.  Then, I order super cute crafts from them.

Just because I could make it doesn’t mean I ever will…

*Turns out I’m vain and un-nice.  Who knew!?